Excerpt from my latest book, Dumb As A Fox
Saturday, May 23rd, 2009Dumb As A Fox
Chapter I
Cute, curly-haired blonde, Cassie Marie Virtue, a woman in her late 30’s, or early 40’s (no one knows for sure) unassumingly bounces through elevator doors as they open onto the 33rd floor. These are the offices of one of the most powerful law firms in New York. The beveled glass door reads: Dunleavy, Wright, Wilkins and Caulfield.
Dressed in a well fitting and slightly bright suit, and matching shoes, she flashes a toothy smile as she breezes through the majestic doors. She approaches the reception desk after passing 4 or 5 busy workers scurrying past her and in or out of hallways and offices. Heads turn to see who the newcomer may be. Some frown, some roll their eyes, some do not respond at all.
Cassie stops in front of the receptionist, Renee, and says, “Hi!”.
“ May I help you?”, Renee asks.
“Well, yes, I believe you can. I am Cassie Marie Virtue and I am reporting for my first day of work.”
Deadpanned Renee glances at papers and notes on her desk, scanning for Cassie’s name. Unable to locate her name she looks up at Cassie with no expression. “I can’t find your name here. What department are you supposed to report to?” Cassie pulls out a slip of paper from her purse and hands it to Renee. “Maybe this will help you.” Cassie says. “ I ‘m to report to Mr. Dunleavy, I ‘m the new associate in accounting.”
Renee rolls her eyes and reads the paper she has been handed. She looks in a few drawers and in a filing rack for a package. “This is your introduction packet. Read it as soon as possible; there are a lot of forms to fill out to enable you to be paid, get benefits and for your parking space. Walk down the Southwest corridor to the end and you will find Mr. Dunleavy’s offices. There you will find his assistant who will then introduce you to the head of accounting.”
“You mean my boss?”
“Yes, your boss”, Renee responds, shaking her head at what she perceives to be a dumb question. “Okay, thanks for your help.” Cassie grabs her belongings and sashays down the long corridor. “Honey, you’re going to need it”, Renee retorts after her.
The hall appears to be something out of a bad film. Unbelievably long and bookended with office after office. Employees pop in and out of offices like feverish mice, faces buried in folders and documents. Two employees commiserate outside an office and barely look up as Cassie passes by. Cassie smells coffee brewing and takes a big whiff. She doesn’t touch the real stuff, it makes her hyper. But she drinks decaf just for the taste and to be part of the crowd. “A lot of things are discussed over coffee – love lives, business, gossip, families, travel – you name it. Coffee has become the world’s greatest past time.” Cassie thinks.
A very flustered young woman hurries past Cassie with a stack of papers. She sighs as she passes Cassie. This is Megan, the intern. She looks like a typical intern. Badly fitting clothing, black clunky shoes, hair pulled back with sprigs sprouting from her temples, no make-up and a stain on her blouse. Cassie can’t help thinking that Megan could use a makeover. She feels sorry for her because she knows the hell an intern had to endure to prove themselves. Megan looks like she’s getting an extra dose of hell already this morning.
Cassie feels like she has been walking down this corridor forever but suddenly it opens up into a huge lobby, as if she was now on a different floor. It is quiet, with walls covered in bright pop art. Glass sculptures balance on pedestals. There is an overstuffed couch against the wall facing immense glass windows. In front of the couch is a glass and iron coffee table and there are taupe colored armchairs on each side of the table. Various magazines are stacked neatly on the coffee table. There are only 2 doors, one to the left and one to the right. Cassie feels a bit like Alice down the rabbit hole. “Which door should I take?”, she thinks to herself. Just then a very severely dressed woman thrusts herself through the right door.
“Cassie Virtue?” she asks, and without waiting for a response she says: “I’m Monica Parreaux. I am the head of accounting. Pleased to meet you. If you’ll follow me I will take you to our offices and get you settled in. There are quite a few papers and documents I need for you to fill out as soon as possible. Standard procedure, but you must have them filled out and signed before you leave today. Is that clear?”
“These are really huge offices, I’ve never been in…”
Cassie is only able to get this short sentence out before Monica interrupts, not seeming to care what Cassie has to say.
“I have taken the liberty to schedule your orientation at 10 this morning. You will find a coat closet to your left where you may hang your coat. You desk is located right beside my office and my receptionist’s desk is outside of our offices. My receptionist will have an additional package for you, so please see her before you go to your office. Any questions”
“Well, yes I have a few…”
“…you may email them to me and I will address them as soon as I can. You will find your schedule on your computer.” Monica thrusts her hand out towards Cassie. “Welcome to the firm.” They shake hands and Monica disappears into her office and shuts the door.
Feeling somewhat flustered and slightly cheated Cassie walks over to the receptionist’s desk.
A plain but attractive redhead looks up from her computer.
“Hi, I’m Cassie Marie…”
The receptionist turns her head to reveal a telephone earpiece in her ear, she points to it, and lifts her hand to signal she needs a minute.
Cassie nods and waits quietly. She looks at her surroundings to take in faces and movement. Cassie puts her briefcase on the floor and begins to look through the envelope she was handed at the main desk.
“Hi, you must be Katie.”
“Cassie.”
“Oh, right, right. Sorry, I’m Louise. I’m terrible with names. That’s why I have this huge list on my desk that describes people so I don’t look like too much of a dork when the head honchos and head ho’s walk in.”
“Head ho’s?”
“You know the big wigs’ squeezes. Wives are easy; they’re never here except when they are going shopping in town from the burbs OR if they are having the obligatory lunch with their hubbies. Except for Mr. Wilkins, he’s a batch, and doesn’t date much. …and Associate Caulfield is a newlywed. Let’s hope he doesn’t take lessons from the rest of the gang.”
Cassie is taken aback by Louise’s candor. Cassie clues in that Louise is a wealth of information and gossip. She makes a note of that in her head.
“So I have a bunch of crap for you to fill out.” Louise hands Cassie another manila envelope. “Just make sure it is all done before you get out of here today or Monica will pitch a small fit. Anyway, some of it is important, health bennies, parking space, gym membership, bathroom key, office key, shredding room key.”
“Shredding room?” Cassie thinks to herself.
“Yeah. I can see by the look on your face that’s a new one for you. There’s a lot of sensitive material behind these doors and, as far as I know, a lot of it never makes it out of the building, not to mention off of this floor. Lawyers, they’ve got their way of doing things. Don’t worry, you most likely won’t have to deal with any of it.”
“Okaaay. Now, where is my office? Monica wasn’t too clear about that.” Cassie asks.
“Get used to it, that is how she does things around here. If you are quick on the uptake, get your work done on time or ahead of time, take a stack of stuff home, or at least look that way, you’ll do just fine. Capische?”
“What?”
“Capische, it’s Italian for Do You Understand? I’m studying languages. I’ve got these interactive DVD’s I’m using at home. So far I’m working on Italian, French, German, Japanese, and Spanish.”
“That’s a lot of languages to be learning at one time.”
“Well, at this point I can say hello and order a beer in all of them. Cool, huh?”
“Sure, really cool. I speak French, some German and some Spanish, so maybe we can practice sometime.”
“Fantastico! Sounds like a plan. You better take off, today is going to be a long one for you. Oh yeah, I forgot. See that door, your name will be on it by lunch. Break a leg.” Louise puts the earpiece back in her ear and buries her face in some papers on her desk.”
“Thanks!” Cassie says over her shoulder as she heads towards her office door.
Chapter II
With a deep cleansing breath Cassie walks through her office door. It is small, almost cozy but not claustrophobic. Luckily, there is a window that looks onto another building but the blue sky is clearly visible and the sun peaks around the corner. A modest desk with a high back chair faces her. On the desk sits a late model computer, printer, cordless telephone, fax machine and a stack of papers. Reality begins to set in. “This is for real. I better make the most of it.” Cassie thought.
Almost immediately the intercom on the telephone buzzes. Cassie sets her things on the chair and searches for the right button to press.
“Hello?” She speaks into the console.
“Hey, it’s me, Louise. Your first meeting starts in 15 minutes. Thought I’d give you a heads up. You better not be late. You’ll find all the info ready for you right on the desktop of your computer. You’re going to the head honchos office, which was the door to your left when you got down here in the trenches. By the way, you don’t have to lean into the phone to talk, those things can pick up voices from a mile away.”
Ok, sure, all right, no problem. Is there anything I need to take with me?” Cassie asks.
“Make sure you have a pad and paper and a smile. Big cheese likes it when people are happy around him. Just a little inside info. And if you want coffee you better grab it now, toss it down and head out. Don’t take your coffee with you. Mr. Dunleavy likes to have everyone’s undivided attention.”
“Great, thanks, good to know.” Cassie replies.
“I should get to know her better, she seems to be a wealth of information around here.” Cassie thought again.
Deciding to skip the coffee, Cassie grabs the compact out of her purse, checks her lipstick and then returns it all to the bag. She scoops up a pad, and a pen, conveniently situated on her desk, puts a smile on her face and heads out the door.
On her way back to the reception area Cassie passes by Monica’s office. Monica is in a heated discussion on the phone. Cassie catches Monica’s eye and she smiles. Monica does not react but instead swivels her chair around to face the window and to put her back to Cassie.
Cassie shrugs and continues through the door.
She can’t get over the un-office like feel of the reception area for this end of offices. It looks more like an avant-garde art gallery than the international corporate offices of a high-powered law firm. The view from the bank of pristine windows is panoramic facing the Hudson River and glimpses of lower Manhattan.
As Cassie approaches the door, a young man, who appears to be in his mid to late twenties, dressed in a very expensive, grey, Brooks Brothers’ suit, hurriedly meets her. He prevents her from entering the door.
“You can’t go in there quite yet. Mr. Dunleavy is not ready to receive you. Please have a seat and someone will retrieve you when the meeting is about to start.”
“Receive me? Retrieve me? What is this, a 40’s film? Who are you? The butler?” Cassie chuckles to herself.
“Forgive me, I am Miles Carter. I am Mr. Dunleavy’s personal, private, business assistant.”
“Does he have an impersonal, public assistant?” Cassie jokes to try and lighten what seems to be a very sober mood.
“Hm, cute!” Miles retorted.
“Sorry”, Cassie responded, looking down at the floor.
“No, I mean it, you’re cute. Funny and cute. Mr. Dunleavy will like that. Do you need anything? No? Great.” With that he disappears through the massive wooden doors.
“Why do people keep doing that?, she says under her voice.
“Whew, I really thought I had gotten off on the wrong foot with him, which would probably mean I got off on the wrong foot with Mr. Dunleavy.” Cassie thought.
“But he thinks I’m cute. Funny and cute. Good, let’s keep it that way.”
Chapter III
Ten o’clock came and went. Cassie decides she better take a look at the stack of papers she had grabbed with her pad, to try and get ahead of the game. Annual reports, statistics, graphs, charts, interoffice memos, calendars, procedural data. She leafs through it all, scanning the information to hopefully get a handle on the inner workings of the firm. Tabbed pages caught her eye – this must be what she needs to address immediately. Tabbed yellow was a document that dealt with her parking space. P5, Aisle 20, Section P, Space 110. “That’s a lot of parking spaces.” Forms for tax deductions, the retirement fund, health benefits, etc. All tabbed in yellow. Tabbed in red was the form to receive her key to the shredding room. ‘Yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow, red… interesting.” Cassie reflects.
Suddenly, the massive doors simultaneously swing inward and Miles steps through them.
“Ms. Virtue, Mr. Dunleavy can receive you now.”
“Please feel free to call me Cassie.”
“We’ll see.” Miles counters.
And with that, Cassie walks into the office.
The office is about three thousand square feet. An immense rectangle that looks like a cross between a conference room and an art gallery
“This is bigger than my parent’s home!” Cassie thought to herself.
Not unlike the outer lobby, the office was filled with brightly colored, very modern art and glass sculptures. The paintings dominate the larger walls to the left and right. Small and large sculptures, in all shapes, sizes and designs pepper the rest of the room. Mostly figures and faces. Cassie immediately counts three at the entrance of the room. The most striking is the largest sculpture. A female fairy or mermaid in the left upper corner of the room near the massive windows. Her long flowing hair swirls around her shoulders and spills over the front of her body. A film of material delicately drapes around her curves. The sculpture has an erotic but still tasteful quality.
Leaning against the window at the opposite corner of the room is John Dunleavy. He is wearing a blue striped dress shirt, red power tie, perfectly creased black dress pants and a smile. A tendril of wavy black hair rests on his forehead. His body is on a diagonal facing into the room and his arms are crossed in a relaxed, non-threatening manner.
“That’s Methiallah.”
He must have noticed Cassie is a bit fixated on the sculpture.
“She’s a sea nymph. And for me a very good luck charm.”
Cassie smiles self-consciously. She feels everyone’s eyes on her. Mr. Dunleavy approaches Cassie with an outstretched hand.
‘I’m John Dunleavy.”
They shake hands.
“I’m Cassie Marie Virtue.”
“I know who you are. Anyone at this end of the building is handpicked by me from a group of well-screened candidates. Welcome to the firm. Please have a seat.” He points to the chair immediately in front of his desk.
With this everyone in the room is seated. No one makes a move to sit before they are invited.
Two very expensive brocade chairs, in deep, plush burgundy, face an expansive mahogany desk. Rows of additional chairs line the walls on each side of the desk. It gives the feeling of having spectators.
“I trust you had no trouble finding your way around and that Monica provided you with everything you need.”
“Everyone has been so helpful, thank you very much.” Cassie replies. She sits close to the edge of the chair to prevent herself from looking too comfortable. She feels many pairs of eyes looking at her. It’s a little unnerving. She smiles to hopefully ease all of the tension in the room.
“Good, well, let’s get down to business. I would like to introduce everyone here to you. You’ve met Monica, she will be your point person. Everything that falls under your job description will come directly from her.”
Monica is seated in the first chair in the row to the right. Cassie flashedsa toothy smile and Monica grins and nods.
“You’ve also met Miles. He is my right hand man. Came to me fresh out of University. Harvard, right, Miles?”
“Yale, sir.” Miles responded.
“Damn, sorry about that, neither were my alma maters, so guess it didn’t stick with me. Anyway Miles attends to all my needs. He’ll be peeking over your shoulder every once in a while.”
Miles, seated in the first chair in the row to the left, gives Cassie a quick smile then turns to face Mr. Dunleavy again. Cassie gives a little wave of recognition, too late for Miles to see.
“Everyone else you will meet personally in due time. But for now let me do quick introductions. Don’t be worried, it took me forever to remember half of them and the other half has either worked with me before or I knew them in another capacity. ”
Mr. Dunleavy goes down the right row naming names and positions, and then continues on the left.
“Richard Reid, Political Law, James Kinzer, Head of the Immigration division, Charles Bourne, our divorce specialist, Merrill Saunders, Pro Bono, Jack Baugh, Entertainment Law, Jonathan Thompson, International Law and Policy, Wesley Coles, Labor, Employment and Immigration Law, Nick Rodson, Environment Law, Wei Zyi Yi, Hong Kong Law, Otto Atwell, Trusts and Estates, Robert Hector, Mergers and Acquisitions, Zephirin Long, Public Policy, Armando Ruiz, Latin America, Stuart Nicholson, Antitrust, and Emma Fry, Internet and E-Commerce. That does it for my offices. I don’t expect you to remember everyone’s names anytime soon. They will reintroduce themselves at the appropriate time. That’s it. Everyone back to work. Ms. Virtue, Miles will show you out. Good luck, today.”
With that Miles swiftly jumps from his chair and gestures for Cassie to follow him out.
“That’s it?” Cassie thinks. “I waited all that time for introductions? Ok, at least now I can put faces to names.”
Miles opens one door and motions for Cassie to continue out the door. As she goes to say ‘Thank you’ and “Goodbye’, Miles closes the door behind her without a word.
A myriad of thoughts fly through Cassie’s mind. “Why did we meet just so I could be introduced to everyone and then be excused?”
Cassie walks slowly through the outer lobby and through the doors leading to her office. She hasn’t even had time to make notes on names.
“Louise!” Cassie thought, “She’ll be able to give me the run down on everyone.”
“How’d it go? Does your head feel like it wants to explode yet?”
“It was a quick introduction and that was it. His offices are massive and the art is beyond belief.”
“You should see his digs, that is just the tip of the iceberg.” Louise said.
“I can make a list of all the names for you and shoot you an email. Probably is the best idea. You won’t have that chance again. I never see that whole crew in one room unless it is the annual board meeting, some gigantic screw up or the axe is falling.”
“Sure, that would be great. Louise, can I ask you a question?”
“Absolutamente! That’s what I’m here for”
“Italian, right?”
“Si!” Louise responds with a smile and sweeping gesture with her hand. “What do you want to know?”
“What’s the story with Miles?” Cassie asks.
“Wow, you got an hour or two? He’s a really interesting character. We don’t know anything other than he was a Yale-y, graduated with honors both under grad and grad school, interned at another firm on the West Coast, and then came here about a year ago. He sticks to Mr. D like glue. Here at dawn and leaves after everyone else. Workaholic. But look where it got him. Right in the Big Guy’s pocket. That kid’s got plans for himself, you can tell. But he isn’t much of a sharer – keeps to himself. Doesn’t socialize or talk much. But he’s got a great butt, don’t you think?”
“I really didn’t look that closely but I guess now I won’t be able to help it!” Cassie giggles. “Maybe I should go and look busy.”
“Yep, you never know when Monica will surface with a thousand things for you to do. Have a great day, buzz me if you need anything. I most likely won’t see you until 5. That’s when I punch out.” Louise offered.
“Ok…Ciao” Cassie stammered with a question in her voice.
‘That’s right, see you’re getting the hang of it! Sayonara!” Louise sticks headphones on her ears and begins to type on computer keyboard.
